Changes

There are things that happen in our lives that change us. Some things change us for the better, some just knock us down to the point in which we feel there is no hope. There really isn't anything you can do to alter change, it just happens. Change is the fluid movement of everyday; a mix of fate and growth. The only thing we can do is let it happen and take the valuable lessons given to us with stride. Change won't kill you, most of the time. It is designed, rather, to test you and make you stronger. In times of desperation, change is the only thing that will make things better. In times of prosperity, change can be the only thing to make things worse.

Change is ever-present in my life right now. My relationship with Sean is changing, school is changing; even the place I live and how I get around are changing. All of these things test me to see how much I have and can grow. So far, I think that I'm handling it all pretty well. There are times when things get challenging. Times when I just sit and cry. As I move through life, however, those times when I just sit and cry are becoming fewer. I don't think this is necessarily because I'm getting harder or jaded, I think it's because I'm just out of tears for certain things. I can't explain it. A switch just turned off and I've been signaled that I'm tired of it. Tired of the wallowing and sulking. If I want things to get done, I have to do them myself. No time for crying. Of course, there are lapses in this theory, like when I'm just completely overwhelmed. Everybody cries sometimes. In this momentary lapse in my stalwart façade, I can see and feel my humanity running down my cheeks. Salty little manifestations of what it means to go through change, to experience loss, to experience joy... to be human. So often we forget what this tiny gesture means. Crying doesn't mean we're weak, it means we're human.

With that, I'm ready for and welcoming of change. Moreso, I'm ready to grow.